I die every night in my sleep. 

Or at least when I wake up, I feel like I did. 

In reality, I just sleep like the dead.

As long as I can recall, mornings are a slooooow, groggy, slog of confusion. For about an hour or so. 

I've often stood in the middle of the kitchen, empty tea cup in hand, staring into the distance, thoroughly confused as to what I'm supposed to do with the empty vessel I'm holding.

Sometimes I'm not even sure for a moment what it is in my hand. 

Sometimes I get a little brutze. Cuz while the rest of the day, I'm the first to run headlong into danger, the first to spring to action in an emergency, and the one who keeps their shit together during a crisis, in the mornings, I have the emotional fortitude of a toddler. Who reeeeeaallllllllly needs a nap. At best.

Movement is limited, thinking is difficult, and speaking? That's just right out.

On the rare ocassion I attempt to speak, only Farmboy understands what I say. (Fortunately we've always had the ability to twinspeak with each other). 

After first breakfast, some tea, & second breakfast, a little switch goes on in the brains and I'm ready to go.

I follow this with the energy of a crackhead the rest of the day (even if lately my body hasn't been complying with my brains).

The complete and utter lack of braining ability in the morning makes me consistently surprised that I somehow manage to, most every day, wake up with a random song in my head. Complete as though I'm listening to it on headphones.

Sometimes I even wake up to my feet swaying back and forth to the beat like rolls on forks ala Benny & Joon.

Most of the time, I wake up with a Funk song playing in my head.

But lately, it's been a wild mix. Still one a day though.

Some of them have surprised me cuz they're songs I'm a little meh about...something I don't hate, but would never think to put on a jukebox.

Oddly, despite my clear lack of cognition in the morning, I can occasionally manage to write well enough to take a note or two.

Here's an incomplete list of January's songs:

• Bold As Love: John Mayer
• November Rain: GnR
• Somebody I Used to Know: Gotye
• Hey Ma - Cam'ron
• Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives
• Somebody to Love - Queen
• Dog Days are Over - Florence & The Machine
• Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer
• This is the Song That Never Ends - Lambchop
• Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac
• Fire - Ohio Players
• Thunderstruck- AC/DC cover on bagpipes by the Tartan Terrors
• All I Want for Christmas - Mariah Carey
• The Muppet Show Theme Song - The Muppets
• Bold As Love: John Mayer (again)
• Toxic - Britney Spears
• What About Love - Heart
• The White Cliffs of Dover - Vera Lynn
• The Chicken Dance - Every terrible wedding DJ ever
• Stuck in the Middle with You - Steeler's Wheel
• L-O-V-E - it was a girl in my head...not sure who, though various artists have covered it
• Honky Cat - Elton John
• The Nutcracker - Tchaikovsky
• Bie Mier Bist du Schon - Janis Siegel rendition for the movie Swing Kids
• Can't You See - Marshall Tucker Band